14 February 2017

Waiting for Prince Charming... or Gilbert Blythe?



Anne Shirley is one of the closest literary heroines I relate closest to. My black hair and tan skin contrasts to her fiery red and freckles, but we are both dreamers. Isn't there a bit of Anne in all of us? By personal choice, I'm not open to have an romantic relationship in high school, but bits of my soul emulate thoughts of a hopeless romantic. New scenarios and "perfect" characteristics belonging to Prince Charming formulate each time I toss in bed. He'll probably be tall, brooding, sweeping me off of my feet. He's the dream guy everyone looks for.

The truth?

There's no such thing as Prince Charming. Stepping out of fantasies and waking up in cold reality is generally a constant struggle. I watch my friends, courting and dating, while I stand on the sidelines, probably making an assortment of Valentine's Day related crafts during my volunteering job, making sure that the relationships they have are healthy and happy. My friends, who are all of the good sort, are respect my decision about abstaining from the romantic scene and remaining single as a solitary pringle at the bottom of a can, but they always tease that I'll miss the right guy as I frolic away in a dreamy state. A little part inside says that they're probably right.


If people had to find a define a "perfect guy" in literature, it would probably be no other than Gilbert Blythe. What's there not to like about him? He is tall, with curls, with intelligence, an insane amount of charisma, and immense understanding. Gilbert loved Anne so much he waited two years for her before she finally stated yes. He waited for a long time. Suddenly, Prince Charming converts into this literary character, from a general faceless character to someone concrete and almost real like. Anne and Gilbert's relationship, like everyone else's, has their faults, but in terms of realistic standards, it's perfect.

Here's the problem.

To take out all of the good parts that this fictitious relationship holds and demand that the relationship I want has to have every single functioning cog in place in order to deem the relationship compatibility is just wrong. First, ideals and realities are not the same. Someone who is redecorating a bedroom could have some aspects of their dream design unavailable for use. The same concept applies here! To impose such high standards right away and force them to meet all of them is unfair to the person on the other end. It's better to take the most desired qualities, particularly the intrinsic qualities, see if they have those with some room for improvement, and then build from there.

Secondly, relationships do not necessitate nor require one-hundred percent compatibility. Any relationships, romantic or platonic, does not require a full-on equivalence in everything an individual does. Compatibility in the important things (especially those relating to morals)  are things needed to be in sync. Tiny stuff, like who's taking out the garbage or what movie to watch-- those can be heavily debated on.


Face it: not everything is going to be perfect. There will be some things the two individuals will clash on. Take a dreamer who is romantically linked to someone more grounded that clash on the mundane things because the former isn't doing their share of the chores. When people embark on a relationship, I don't think it starts off perfect. We try to be perfect together, but we're still far off the mark. As single separate entities, we too fall from the mark.

Isn't the point of any kind of relationship to experience growth, hopefully for the betterment of ourselves by the interactions we have with other people? People change people, and if there is change, it should be for the better.

Finally, what's all this waiting for true love business? Love does not just solely exclusive to romantic love. It's the easiest thing of all to forget. There are other relationships people can dedicate themselves to-- friendships, families, acquaintances wanting to maybe reach closer to the friends level-- love can be applied to all of those relationships. Instead of dedicating all of our time to Prince Charming and Gilbert Blythe, why don't we improve the current relationships we have in our life right now?

I hope you have a wonderful Valentine's Day, whether it be with a significant other, a group of friends, or by little kids doing arts and craft. As it was once said, "Love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love, cannot be killed or swept aside."

16 comments:

  1. Yessssss-- so true, especially about the part of not having to be super compatible. Super compatible is boring! And romantic love is sooooo not the whole picture. Very important. I still have to remind myself of that sometimes.
    Lovely post!
    xx
    Stephanie
    // stictlystephanie.blogspot.com

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    1. I was reading something online and someone used a raisin analogy, where apparently these two characters from a TV show were super compatible (in a romantic relationship) but when they went out camping, they both did the exact same thing and then it resulted in a disaster. It's good to have someone to balance it out with-- even in friendship, it's important.

      Glad to hear from you, Stephanie! ^.^

      xoxo Morning

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  2. setting up expectations for your future husband is definitely not the way to go, yeah. i think we need to set our trust in Christ, and he will bring the right man around when he's ready, you know? holla. also, building up the relationships we have now is also important. squee. x

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    1. "i think we need to set our trust in Christ, and he will bring the right man around when he's ready, you know?" PREACH THIS CALLY. PREACH. That is so incredibly important, to pray.

      Squeee!

      xoxo Morning

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  3. This is great, you've made some really important points!

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  4. Aww the quote at the end <3 Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I need to reread Anne of Green Gables, I was quite young when I first read it and I don't remember falling in love with Gilbert (my first fictional crush was Edmund Pevensie, tbh).

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    1. I'm so glad you caught that, yes! And hey, no worries-- I actually didn't read Anne of Green Gables until a couple years ago, and Edmund was also my first fictional crush (he's so flawed but he does try to earnestly do good and you just want to hug him especially after all he's been through with the White Witch). <3

      xoxo Morning

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  5. Gilbert Blythe!! <3 Seriously though, I loved this so much and I love what you said about realistic relationships being for the betterment of both people - I agree so much, and you're very wise to say so. :)

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    1. While we're still far off the mark, I think we're making progress towards the representation of realistic relationships, in many media forms-- although whether or not people keep this in mind early is another story that I don't know the answer to. ^.^'

      xoxo Abigail Lennah

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  6. This is so perfectly put. (And the quote at the end just made my heart so happy.) Ideals vs. realities are so important to think through, and you're right- people should change people for the better. That is a true relationship.

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    1. YAAAAASSS I'm so happy that you understood the quote! When people change people for the better, that's when a healthy relationship happens.

      xoxo Abigail Lennah

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  7. This sums everything up perfectly! I love the end quote! I totally ship Anbert
    xoxo TG
    targetgirlonline.blogspotcom

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    1. Anbert is my fave, yes!!! <3

      xoxo Abigail Lennah

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  8. This is the loveliest post I HAVE EVER READ. Thank you SO MUCH for sharing on this. It's such an important topic that not a lot of blogs, or people for that matter, touch on. LOVERLY!!

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    1. Thank you so much, Amanda! I feel like this is such an important topic to discuss and thus the reason why I wrote it! A lot of holidays have sadly fallen into commercialized hands-- as in, it's lost the original sense that the holiday was supposed to stand for. Chocolates and cards are fun, but if that's the main focal point of the holiday, well...

      xoxo Abigail Lennah

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Stay strong and wonderful!
xoxo Abigail Lennah