01 June 2015

The Thought of My Thoughts


Every night, after I have completed my fair share of reading or writing, I turn off the lamp right next to my bed, stare up at the ceiling, and think. 

Everyone has those places and moments where all of their thinking occurs: in the bathroom, at a coffee shop, inside the library wedged between two bookshelves so that no one can disturb you-- there is always that place, a place, to think. My place is my bedroom, looking up towards the ceiling, with the city lights seeping in through closed blindfolds as I hear the "tick, tock" of my clock going monotonously back and forth.

Sometimes, I have no idea if I am a morning person or an night owl. When I get up, I'm extremely ready for the day to unfold, but at night, my mind never ceases to end its bumbling chatter. Even after reading or writing, my mind will not rest until I lull myself to sleep or feel satisfied with what is on my mind.


Perhaps its the calmness and tranquility of the night that causes my mind to begin to "talk." I'm not the most talkative person out there on the planet, but if you speak about something that I love and believe in, you better get some duct tape because I will not stop rambling for hours on end. It's the same thing with my mind, I suppose.

I'm weird, and most people know that, and they ask themselves, "What goes on inside my head?" Well, that I'll gladly say.

At night, I think about the past-- what has happened today. I think about all of the good and bad things I have done in my life. I think about my friends and what has come and go of them, I think about the two ladies who said, "Excuse me," inside the store as the cart I was guarding carefully for my parents obstructed their way.


I think about the future. Where will I go? What will I be? Who will I become? What will come of tomorrow? Who, what, when, where, or why, this one especially, the five W's will come into my mind. I think of things that I may use in the future or things that have helped shaped this future. Several nights ago, I was asking myself, "How does a hinge work?"

Come on. Who has asked and wondered how a hinge works? We take so much of the technology we have around us and we never really bother to ask how. But sometimes, I do. The world out there is a beautiful and mysterious place. We all ought to look around and ask questions.


I think and imagine. Most of my ideas, especially my novel plots, come from when I lay in bed, and I sit and imagine what would happen to think character if I did this or what if I introduced this person to the plot. I don't just imagine scenarios in my novels, but also I think of, "What if?" What if, in the past, this played out differently? What if I slept more? What if I grew taller? What if, what if, what if? 

The questions never seem to stop, but ultimately, these things I think of all boil down and encompass the big two questions of, "Who am I?" and "What is the meaning of life?" At this point, you may be thinking that I'm too young to be thinking of this sort of thing. 

You may be right, of course, but it is never too early to start. It's never too early to think of who you will be and how you will help make a difference in this world. I think, I question, I imagine, all because I don't want to just exist. I want to run barefooted in the grass, I want to have the spirit of a child, I want to go out there to meet the world. I want to live.


“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” ― Oscar Wilde

I know it sounds cliched. It kind of does, doesn't it? "Go out and live!" "Go and make a difference in the world!" These are such mantras that if you, like me, have ever gone to school, you have most likely heard of. The world isn't this place with gum drops and unicorns and butterflies; that's always how I have lived my life. I'm a girl who lives in this fantasy land who believes that wrongs can easily be righted and that happily ever after comes to all.

But that's not how the world works, does it? There's crime and there are couples who get divorced, and I'm just touching on the surface of some of the problems of the world. Yet, despite all of this, I'm still going to be positive. There is always hope for a better tomorrow, and somehow, I am going to be a part of it.


And with these thoughts, signing off at 9:45 PM in the evening, I can now go to bed, content, dreaming of whatever may come to me tomorrow.

48 comments:

  1. Morning this was so though provoking and touching!

    I do the exact same. I stare at my window and think!

    Xoxoxoxo

    Ps Abbie has told me that she's accidently made me and author of my blog and you the admin! Please make me an admin too! Xoxo

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    1. Thank you! :) The window is a great place to think; that's actually where I used to think a lot when I was younger, until now; the afternoon is usually occupied by my parents watching TV and so now the only quiet place is my room, the garage, and sometimes, the laundry room!

      xoxo Morning

      P.S. I finished your design and changed you back to admin!

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    2. Yes! I think in so many places! At the kitchen table, on my bed, on the swings in the garden, um, on the toilet (im quite weird) and even more!

      Ps the design is absolutely incredible! You're amazing! I'm DEFINITELY giving you a mention on my blog! Xoxo

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    3. The swings and the toilet are my places to think, too (they aren't weird at all)!

      xoxo Morning

      P.S. Thank you so much for doing that! I saw it! XDD

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    4. It was no problem! You deserve the biggest praise after the fabulous job you did! Wow! I thought I was the only one who thought in those places! Xoxo

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  2. Wow! I thought I was the only one who did this! Your words are just so beautiful, as are those photographs!

    - www.whatlexieloves.blogspot.com

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    1. I guess great minds think alike (see what I did there)? A lot of my post ideas do come from before I go to bed, so I'm like, "Why don't I write a post about the thought of thoughts?" In biology, we were asked to think and define the word run; I kind of did the same concept here: think about your thoughts!

      xoxo Morning

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  3. My thinking space tends to be my bed after I've turned out the lights as well :) I love the Oscar Wilde quote.

    Lovely post ♥

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    1. Haha, want me to let you in on something? Do you know that DJ book that you reviewed on your blog? I kind of got the idea from that... and then I thought about it in bed, and then I thought more of thinking, and then, tada! This post was born! Oscar Wilde has so many amazing quotes, but so does Ralph Waldo Emerson!

      xoxo Morning

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  4. Such a beautiful post! I totally relate to sitting up at night and thinking.

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    1. Thank you! I'm glad we're not the only ones who think at night too; everyone else commenting here seems to be doing the same thing! :D Ah, the minds of many.... ;)

      xoxo Morning

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  5. I usually have my thoughts when I'm trying to sleep, or in the lunch room. I often have thoughts about people, and how they act, scientific things, spacial things, words, etc. Anyway, this is a really great post!

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    1. I wish I could say the same thing about the lunch room scenario! The lunch room is so loud that I can barely hear what I'm thinking! Ooh, what sort of scientific and spacial things do you think about? Most of my thoughts in the day are just... I don't know, normal. xD Thank you so much, Jollygirl! It's nice to hear what you think of. What people think about intrigues me.

      xoxo Morning

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  6. Oh man. This was like... amazing. Your pictures and your words. They really make you think. Oh man oh man oh man. I love this post so much.

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    1. Thank you, Cally. I wish I could say the same thing when I am cleaning... my thoughts during those times are just a mumbo jumbo of nonsense or song lyrics. ^.^

      xoxo Morning

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  7. You're lucky that you're a morning person and a night owl! The morning makes me want to strangle the closest living things to me (wow I'm starting to sound like the "bad" in the world that you described),

    Seriously, this is all very true. I used to try to think about the world and life but I decided that I'll never ever fully understand anything in this life no matter how long I'm here and no matter how wise I get. I'm not meant to fully understand. I don't think any of us are. I think that's what life truly is.

    (Okaaaay in my efforts to sound inspirational and hipster, I totally failed and sounded like I've been poisoned with something. I'll just end now.)

    O | Life as a Young Lady

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    1. Olivia, you make me crack up! Strangle the closest living thing? XDDD

      I do agree with you about how we will never understand everything and that just being how life is. I'm still young compared to the rest of the world (and, the people at my school) but I'm still asking questions, especially "why" and "how"? But just because we can't understand everything doesn't mean that we shouldn't stop asking.

      xoxo Morning

      P.S. Are you kidding? Your inspirational and hipsterness totally worked! XDDD

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  8. Your blog is so thought provoking!!

    pengirl9.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Thanks, PenGirl! I don't want to drown people in seriousness, but thought provoking is something that is a part of my brain and I can't really get rid of it, even if I wanted to....

      xoxo Morning

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  9. I love that quote<3 Its so inspiring! I want to live and do something great in the world. I dream of traveling the world with a choir, singing in all of the cool chapels in Vienna and England.
    I'm totally a night person! That is where I find myself thinking as well, along with taking walks by myself. Lovely post, Morning! You are so down to earth<3
    -Clara

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    1. Thanks! I love the quote too! You have such great dreams for the future, Clara; I really hope and pray that you do achieve those (especially singing world wide in a choir in chapels. Now that just sounds awesome).

      Aww, I'm actually surprised you think I'm down to earth! Most of the time people around me have to try to tether me down to the ground. I'm like a balloon. For example, take yesterday: I meant to go and plot out my story, and while I was trying to find a pencil, I ended up cleaning my binder, finding some money, trying to count how much money I found trapped in my room, and then it was time for dinner. I totally forgot to do my original task. It's the same when I am told to go and throw something in the garbage can downstairs; I go downstairs but forget to do the task. I'm a wee bit absent-minded at times. XD

      xoxo Morning

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  10. Forgot about the cliches. This post is incredible. Go out, live, and be who you are.

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    1. Thank you, Oakstar. In one of my short stories, I wrote, "Life is composed of cliches..." That may be true, but everyone goes through those cliches differently. :)

      xoxo Morning

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  11. Wonderful and very touching post, Morning! It's encouraging, and I love it! It's good to a thinker. Now I pray that I may be a doer. :)

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    1. Thanks, Bethany! :) Being a thinker versus a doer is a big difference, I think. Hopefully too, you become a doer; we need these sort of people in our lives!

      xoxo Morning

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  12. This is such a great post! Time to think can be wonderful ♥
    Amy xx

    Little Moon Dragon

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    1. I often need time to think. I have some good time to think during the day, but my brain seems very muddled having mingled with everyone in the world. But when I am in bed, away from people; this is when my thoughts can come to life and when I can actually hear my own voice.

      xoxo Morning

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  13. Having time to think is such a precious commodity, isn't it? I do a lot of my best, most clear headed thinking when I'm running. A lot of people say they don't think at all when running, but I like to ponder questions and work through issues. Most of my life is spent with other people or behind a screen, and sometimes i think I need to stop and take more time away to just think about things. You're never too young to think deep, important thoughts though. The best people think deeply about the world and their lives.

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    1. It is a precious commodity! Unlike you, it is hard for me to think about anything else other than running faster (I can run fast, but when I run for long distances, it does not work well), but I do agree that we are never too young to think and that we need time to think. We all do, or else, how could we hear ourselves

      xoxo Morning

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  14. Beautiful post :). I admit I often do some of these too.

    - Ellie

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    1. Thank you. :) Glad to know that we are not the only ones who do these things. ^.^

      xoxo Morning

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  15. This is such a wonderful post! I'm probabaly a night owl!! ;)

    Galaxy

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    1. Thanks! That's fantastic!

      xoxo Morning

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  16. Great post really enjoyed reading xx :)
    http://agirlblogx.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. Thanks, a girl! :) Glad to hear you say so.

      xoxo Morning

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  17. Amazing post. : )

    I often have a buzzing mind at night, and sometimes I can't sleep because of it. XD

    ~Kathryn

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    1. Thank you! I'm the same about the can't sleep part XDDD

      xoxo Morning

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  18. I related to this post soooo much, Morning. Thank you for writing it <3
    I confess too, that I still can't decide whether I'm a morning or night person. Both are the best, how can I ever decide? ^-^
    at the age I'm at, the world is still an open door, and there's so SO many questions left to be answered, but for me, there's two things that keep me going. Well, technically one, but still...
    1. God and His amazing promises to keep me safe in His hands and...
    2. PINTEREST QUOTES. yeah...

    loved this post <3

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    1. You're welcome, Autumn. I may not be a homeschooler or have started with an American Girl blog, but I do try to write posts that many can relate to.

      It's so hard to make decisions on something, isn't it? I'm such an indecisive person when it comes to deciding on my ultimate favorite book, movie, or song. It's like, "Nope, I can't choose one top one... here's a list!" *list floods everywhere*

      I'm in one of the more higher grade levels, you could say, and I'm still not sure what to do with all of these unanswered questions. What do you want to major in? What university do you want to go to? These are all great questions but I just don't know, for the time being.

      God does have some amazing promises, doesn't he? I found this book while cleaning out my room (I can't remember the title) but it's so good, and it relates to His goodness. It's for kids that are eight or nine, but it's still this little bundle of happiness. Ooh, you have Pinterest? I MUST KNOW. XDDD Pinterest quotes are great; I have an entire board dedicated to them!

      xoxo Morning

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  19. Hey Morning!
    I'm thinking on starting another blog with some bloggy friends... would you like to join? you're the first person i've asked, just figured it was worth a try ;)

    xo,
    megann
    p.s: if you could think of anyone else to ask that would be great too ;)

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    1. Hi, Megann... I'm going to contact you about this, all right? I'd love to join, though.

      xoxo Morning

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  20. ABBBYYY THIS THIS THIS. So much yes. You expressed it perfectly, and I love how you made sure that everyone realizes that it's okay to have random thoughts and to think about the things like squeaky door hinges or the two ladies you saw at the grocery store. You rock! :D

    Chloe | Curious Ramblings

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    1. Thanks, Chloe! :DDD Well, my mind is composed a bit weirdly, but it's all right. ^.^

      xoxo Morning

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  21. This post is not only amazing, but so relatable too!

    Kate x
    www.theteenaspect.blogspot.co,uk

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    1. Thanks! :) Glad to hear you can relate!

      xoxo Morning

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  22. i love this post! your thoughts are all so thought-provoking

    from helen at thelovecatsinc.com

    ps. there's a USA beauty giveaway inc lorac, tarte etc on my blog! click here.

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  23. Oh goodness, this post struck such a chord with me—I feel like you've touched on some really universal feelings here, and that's a very powerful thing. I think we have a lot in common in some regards; like you, I'm never sure whether the morning or the night is right for me, and I think altogether too much when I'm left to myself. Thank you so much for opening up your mind for us to take a peek.

    (In other news, it's been entirely too long since I stopped by your blog and I adore your new design <3)

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Stay strong and wonderful!
xoxo Abigail Lennah