06 March 2015

Watch -- Part One

I'm here today with my multi-part short story called, "Watch". It's about the youngest of five children who struggles and yearns for many years to receive her siblings' love and attention. Hope you enjoy!

via google



Ever since I was young, I have always looked up to my big brothers and sisters. Being the youngest of five children, I was always the one who followed an example rather than giving one. I had watched them in awe as they grew up winning soccer tournaments and performing as one of the lead characters in a school play since I waddled in diapers. 

I wasn’t sure how I was going to fair among my family, but I did know this: I wanted to be great and my two brothers and two sisters are and get their respect and admiration.

I remember the first time I had tried to vie for their attention. I was five years old, a messy of wiry blonde hair squabbling around on a small hill as a neighborhood summer barbeque commenced. Adults brought out their lawn chairs or their red-and-white checked picnic blankets. Many conversed in small cliques about “big people talk”, as I liked to call it at the time. As for me, I was having the time of my life, squealing and attempting to clasp bubbles. Life couldn’t have gotten any better.

From far away I eyed my older brothers and sisters playing with a floating pink balloon. I never forgot how it looked like: it was an elliptical pink water balloon shrunken down since the day of its inflation. The snot which had dribbled down my nose went unnoticed as I stared them laugh and play with wide eyes.

I wanted to touch the balloon. I want them to come over and play with me!

“Big brother! Big sister!” They made no indication that they had heard me. My cheeks blew up and I tapped my bare foot angrily in response. I skittered over to their area and pull on sister Jenna’s shirt. 

“Big sister?” The four of them stop their game and look at me. I give a toothy grin in response. “Will you watch me?”

Jenna bent down to my height and smoothed my hair. “Do what, Melody?”

“Um…” I thought for a minute, then an idea popped into my head. “Do a cartwheel!”

“Oh! You want to be a gymnast like me, huh?”

“When I grow up, I want to be just like you!” I felt my cheeks fluster as the four of my siblings looked down on me, feeling them embrace me with this newfound respect and love their action seemed to show. 

“Well, go on, then!” Jenna flicked her hand, suggesting a take several steps back. I ran as fast as I can a little more down the hill. My eyes peered out to see my brothers and sisters facing my direction. I, had being five years old and never had attempted a cartwheel before, did not feel a benefit of doubt. My grubby palms raised up to their air, made contact with the ground, and kick my legs up to the air.

The feeling was not sensational. My skirt came down over my face and hindered my sight. My bottom is brought down by the force of gravity. I felt the cold metallic blood rush down my arm. Being the young little girl that I was, I began to cry.

Twenty minutes and a bandage gauze later, I had found myself sitting next to Mom and Dad on the grass. I felt terrible. They had recently finished scolding at my four siblings for not shadowing the situation. The worst part was, the four of them admitted that they knew nothing about my accident. 

I remember feeling the worst dummy. They had lied. They did not watch me.

Did they not care?

I still watched them. I watched them play with that pink balloon—that pink, dratted balloon. Clusters of confusion had swarm over my head. The drawing which is laying on the grass depicted my attempt at a cartwheel, balled and crumped into a ball. I turned and said, “Mommy?”

“Yes, m’dear?”

“Do Jenna and Riley and Nate and George,” I said, gasping in a breath of air with each “and”, “Do they love me?”
Mom had placed her novel face down on the ground and faced me. “Of course.”

“Why won’t they notice me, then?”
Mom, who was wearing shades, did not answer right away. I waited patiently for an answer. My eyes, fear-filled, did not leave her face. That’s when I knew and realized: Mom knew that they did not talk or see me as often as they should. That day, I learned that my brothers and sisters are not perfect. She pulled me closer to her. After several minutes of silence, she cooed softly, “I don’t know, honey.
“I don’t know.”

P.S. Forgot to mention that this is kind of inspired by this piece.

45 comments:

  1. For such a sweet and light story, this made me feel a little bit sad, and a little sorry for the youngest sibling. Nicely written :)

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    1. Thank you! The story overall is supposed to be one of depth. I'm trying not to make it too dark, but there is some element of heaviness that is underneath it all. It gets more obvious as Melody grows up.

      xoxo Morning

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  2. Waahthhthhthtsoakjf WHAT MORNING. WHAT ARE YOU DOING. COME HEAR, DEAR. I'LL HOLD YOU.

    Beautiful writing! <3

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    1. OKAY CANDENCE!!!! XD Thanks so much!

      xoxo Morning

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  3. Replies
    1. Haha, I wish part two is happier as well, but it does get more heavy and thematically darker (but not to the point that I would have to caution that the reading is PG-13 for elements like THAT).

      xoxo Morning

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  4. Aw, poor Melody. I know she's going to be great someday.

    Write more, please! :)

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    1. What happens to Melody in the end, could either be perceived as good or bad. I do some things... gosh, is this what being an author feels like, trying to do things to their characters? It's a good feeling but it scares me, too. I'll have the second and possibly third chapter up by this Thursday or Friday.

      xoxo Morning

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  5. Morning your writing is always so descriptive! It can make someone cry or laugh and that's what I love about it. I can't wait to see what happens to Melody!

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    1. I'm nervous to see what happens to Melody, honestly... it's such a sad story, and though it is perceived a bit light, it's rather deep and goes a bit dark in general. And if my writing makes you laugh or cry, well, I suggest bringing out a box of tissues for the next several chapters. >.<

      xoxo Morning

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  6. That is amazing! Melody is such a well thought out character.

    I hope there's a twist!
    Can't wait for more!

    - Lexie
    www.whatlexieloves.blogspot.com

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    1. Melody grows, but a bit different than what some may expect. There is a twist, in the end, and whether you will be happy about it or not I can't tell. That is all I will have to say.

      xoxo Morning

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  7. I couldn't tear my eyes away! So good and well thought out...well done Morning!

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    1. Thank you, Cindy. ^.^ I hope you're ready to read the next part! It gets better! :)

      xoxo Morning

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  8. WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WHAT?!!!!!?!!! MORNING THIS IS AMAZING!!!!!!!! I couldn't take my eyes off of it while I was reading!! In my opinion, this was your best story yet!! MORNING, SERIOUSLY!!!!!!! THIS IS AH-MA-ZING!!!!!!!!!!

    Amelie // Contented Perfectionist (ameliebarham.com)

    P.S. Morning, I've changed my Blog name, could you change it on your friends page, please?

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    1. Thanks, Amelie!!! I'm glad to hear that you love this story! Yes, I will go and change your blog name on my Friends page. ^.^

      xoxo Morning

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  9. I have nominated you for the leibster blog award! Details on my blog xxx love girlOnline
    abbiegirlonline.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey! I'll check out the award, yes. Thank you so much!

      xoxo Morning

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  10. Awesome story! Is so sweet! Your writing is truly........simply........amazing.......

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    Replies
    1. Aww, that means a lot. I have a long ways to go with writing but I am hopeful that it will be great enough for me to land a publishing deal with an agent and editor and all that jazz. XD

      xoxo Morning

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  11. Gosh, you can write the most beautiful stories. Can't wait for more!

    Claire x

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    Replies
    1. Oh, thank you Claire! I will try to not to disappoint you or anyone else with the next several chapters.

      xoxo Morning

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  12. So good! You are very talented ;)

    xo,
    megann

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  13. Hi, I would like invite you to my new blog fetchingfashionandbeauty.blogspot.cz ... this blog is going to be about cosmetics products, tutorials, fashion and traveling as well. So it will be very kind if you visit my new page. Thank you =)
    And u have a nice blog!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Eva! I will go and check out your blog, most certainly!

      xoxo Morning

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  14. ohmy. this is tear-shedding.. i just can't even...it's amazing <3

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    1. Hey, Autumn! <3 The rest of the short story is very much tear sobbing. I cried writing the ending because it hurt a lot. I need a box of tissues when I read it too, sometimes.

      xoxo Morning

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  15. Wow...this touched my heart and inspired me to be a better big sister (I am the middle child out of 7, my youngest brother being 8.) In the middle of this story, my little brother came up, "Hey, Chrissie, I-" I stopped him mid-sentence. "Levi, I'm trying to read."
    "Oh," he said, and started to walk away.
    Then I kicked myself. Just what was I reading?
    "Wait, Levi," I said. "What is it?"

    Thanks for helping me to remember what's important!

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    Replies
    1. Wow, hearing that makes me feel amazing. I think I do such a bad job trying to be a big sister and role model to kids and other people who do look up to me, even while blogging -- it's such a lot of pressure, and since I'm doing so many things it makes me look like I forget them, at times. But I really don't. Every single person I meet, I'm touched. By everyone, really.

      xoxo Morning

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  16. That was great! Very inspiring!! Thank you so much for commenting on my blog! It meant to much!! So glad that I follow and I can't wait to read more!!!

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    1. Hey, no problem! I love checking out new blogs. ^.^

      xoxo Morning

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  17. Oh Morning! MORNING!!! How sad this is. I totally relate to her. When I was little my brothers used to ignore me because I was just a little sister. It was a terrible feeling. But in time they realised I wasn't that bad. But it's the worst feeling ever, isn't it? Have you ever noticed how siblings go in pairs? Being the youngest, maybe Melody doesn't have place with any of those pairs? Just a thought.

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    1. Yeah, that is something I have noticed. There were several families that used to live in my neighborhood. They've all moved away, but before they did, I was friends with their kids. The kids would always go and pair themselves up. That's kind of how I based the story on. ^.^

      xoxo Morning

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  18. You're writing is superb. It's so simply amazing. I do hope you do something with writing when you are older. You are very gifted and talented

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    1. I am planning on doing something with writing when I'm older. I'm hoping to become a successful published author... but I also want to go and take a minor in creative writing. the major is dedicated to a job that's going to support me.

      xoxo Morning

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  19. This is the most touching, sad, sibling story I have ever read! I loved it!

    -Lauryn thefrumpykid.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you, Lauryn! :) The sadness does progress as the story continues...

      xoxo Morning

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  20. Hey! I nominated you for the Leibster award on my blog! You totally don't have to do it, but I really like your blog, so I nominated you. :) you can check it out here- http://someplaceinthemidst.blogspot.com/2015/03/liebster-award.html
    Sophia
    someplaceinthemidst.blogspot.com

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    1. Hey! Yeah, I just came back from commenting on it. Thanks so much for nominating me! I really love your blog, too. ^.^ It's very sophisticated and though I know you had another blog prior to your current one, yours has the professionalism I wish I had when I first started!

      xoxo Morning

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  21. Hi! Thank you for commenting on my blog. How did you find it?:) Can you please follow it by email?
    Love,
    Ashley
    creatingpreciousmoments.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey! I was busy blog hopping and I found your blog! :) I am following via email now. ^.^

      xoxo Morning

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  22. Wow, just wow! When you finish the book you should publish it!
    Great first chapter, can't wait to read part two!
    Beth
    xoxo

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  23. That seems like such a sad story! I hope it has a happy ending. :) Thanks for following my blog by email! :) When did you follow?
    Love,
    Ashley
    creatingpreciousmoments.blogspot.com

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  24. That was beautifully written. Although it was rather sad at parts.:(

    Princess

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Hi there, reader! Thank you so, so much for having time to read my posts and comment; I really appreciate it, and I promise I will try to reply back! I'd also love it if you would follow my blog too and spread the word; that would make my day. :D Have a great day!

Stay strong and wonderful!
xoxo Abigail Lennah