25 March 2017

How To Let Go of Regretted, Embarrassing Things


"There's only us, there's only this. Forget, regret, or life is yours to miss." –“Finale B,” Rent

Regret. Out of the cumulation of high school semesters, this is the one held with the most of it. Opportunities standing in front of life squabbled away like injured chickens, and when I arrived at the end of the corner, the chances of grasping cinched shut. My position squandered the floor with full force as life slammed fifty bags of past embarrassment slammed me further into the ground.

I turn red whenever I "gracefully" ascend to the ground or sometimes accidentally say something without thinking. We have the capacity to laugh it off because we are human, not androids (although someone like Iko would be cool), and that's a part of life. Combine embarrassment with regret, however, and something lethal is born.

How do we deal with past regret or embarrassments we simply just can't get over?


I think the first step is to remember while we attempt our best to control everything that goes on in life, it doesn't always follow accordingly to our plan. We can control what many things in life. We can choose what we eat, drink, choose to hang out or visit, the little things. There are the events we wish to have control over: having a consistent creative outburst with a gusto rivaling Mozart’s is a great example for writers who simply are waiting for their muse to come back from vacationing in the tropics.

The world doesn't dictate life in our favor every day. We are all flawed human beans and it's been included since the day we embarked on this adventure called life. Something awry may go wrong and leave one in an undesired position. One person may have said something unretractable in the heat of an argument. Another person could have an embarrassing photo on Instagram, forgot about it, and now can't delete it because they forgot their old login.

It seems like the worst because this horrendous, ghastly thing pops up out of nowhere. On the exterior, you appear calm, with the only sign of slight distaste visible for a few seconds. Within the interior, your arms reach outstretched and multiple small versions frantically scatter across your brain, screaming, "Ahh!"


Reevaluation is important. Thinking with a clear mind is imperative-- but first pacify the flailing! Drink tea or coffee! Physically run around and flail. Dance dorkily around to super cheesy pop songs, just dance to whatever works best. The fast-paced movement will tire you. Sleep on the problem, and don't spend time before bed dwelling on it.

Talk it out!

Once your mind is clear, think: how bad is the situation, really? A huge reason we regret embarrassing things is because they poor of representation of who we are at the time of the incident. It may seem like the end of the world, but it's not... because the end of the world is the white border of the map you have. The paper was bound to run out of room soon. If you're still panicking, talk it out with friends. It's better to vent it out than keep it all in, anyways.


Tell yourself people change--and hopefully, for the better! One of the people I chatted heavily about a situation was Christina, and she said something wise while watching me gallop around in a frenzy storm was,

"I think most people understand that humans grow and change... like they do anywhere else."

I applaud her for this, because it's something that slapped hard in the tunnel-vision situation. Tunnel vision can be the scourge because in that moment, we are focused on ourselves and forget everything else around us. We need to step back and look, friends.

A small mishap that you're embarrassed of happened, and so it happened. Personally, I imagine life like a scale with good and bad on each side-- there's still plenty of changes for filling up the scales with good. The average person in the world lives up to seventy years! Small mistakes, mishaps, embarrassments, regrets-- they happen all the time, but what about the huge portion of the time remaining? More than likely it's been spent doing positive things. We need to remember the positives.

Forgetting seems easier, but if you wish to forget, step forward with the notion you are going to do better. It does take time and effort, but if you persevere and try, you're making progress.


Be willing to leave it in the past, resolved, and then-- let go. I've come to realize over the course of spring break that dwelling on negatives of past events is a corrosive that deteriorates someone meaning to move forward and progress in life. There's so much out there that we need to see, and we shouldn’t have this one moment define the entire being of your existence. Over a million things make up the sum of a person-- strive to make things better. The good that you do now, the changes you make, it's down to you. It's all up to you.

Look up, because as hopefully and dream-like as it may sound, life on the outside in cool.

The lyrics in Finale B are much more impactful, now that I look at it closer. There are two things but if one lurks in the past, the opportunities of life will bequest you. We need to be at peace with our past, accept it, and look back. As Oakstar said to me,

"I'd want to own up... and be proud of everything I've done that's brought me to this moment."

Are there things that you've regret in the past? Are there even more steps than the generalized in the post, or do you have another process you use? How do you personally let go? 

27 comments:

  1. Oh, this is a wonderful post! I totally agree. We need to keep moving forward in life. If we dwell on the past for too much, we'll never get anything done. Things will happen, like you said, and it's okay, as long as we learn to let it go. Things will always be happening, and you just have to decide whether or not to let it bother you. Thank you so much for this beautiful post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The hardest step in moving on is letting go, because we're so focused on that embarassed moment. Even now I still struggle. Some days, I'm fine, while other days I feel like I want to bury my face into my pillow. Thank you, May Everly!

      xoxo Abigail Lennah

      Delete
  2. The best thing that helps me get through dealing with past embarrassments is to simply remember that everyone has things that they regret in life. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one who has regrets. Also, it's very true, dwelling on the past will get us nowhere in the long run.
    Great post and great reminders! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's usually good to remember that other people have regrets-- it helps. Sometimes the severity of the embarrassed thing or regret just eats up inside. Focusing on the positive things... that's one way I'm trying to go and move on. <3 Keep things positive, again?

      xoxo Abigail Lennah

      Delete
  3. This is an amazing post! I do that so much over the little mishaps: agonize over them until midnight. It never occurred to me until you just said it that other people realize that we learn and grow. Wow. That's an eye-opener for me. Thank you <3

    audrey caylin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I AGONIZE OVER THEM UNTIL MIDNIGHT ON WEEKENDS. And isn't it weird that sometimes the simplest things don't register with us until someone comes along and says something? xD

      xoxo Abigail Lennah

      Delete
  4. This post is wonderful!
    Also your blog is so adorable omg
    http://imogen-may.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww, thanks Imogen! I'll check out your blog tomorrow morning-- it's getting late here. >.<

      xoxo Abigail Lennah

      Delete
  5. Incredible post, and so uplifting and eye-opening. I can definitely relate, but your points are so encouraging - I must remember this when things happen that I stress over.

    Excellent, thought-provoking post <3 Thanks Abigail!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcoming, Amy! Just remember: keep things positive. <3

      xoxo Abigail Lennah

      Delete
  6. ABIGAIL! THIS POST MADE ME GET SO EMOTIONAL. There are various times I've embarrassed myself and a post like the one you have here really reminds me to breath and knowits okay. You couldn't have said it better, a moment shouldn't define your life(: looking forward to your next post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. VANESSA OH MY GOSH YES HI. You're one of my favorite bloggers in the blogosphere because you're so down-to-earth about everything that goes on in your life. I'm glad this post touched you!

      xoxo Abigail Lennah

      Delete
  7. Replies
    1. I'm glad this helped you, Rosie. <3

      xoxo Abigail Lennah

      Delete
  8. This post. <333

    Thank you for writing it.

    xx Mackenzie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for reading, Kenzie. <3

      xoxo Abigail Lennah

      Delete
  9. I know commenters say this literally all the time, but I really mean it: this helped me today. I was thinking about how I regret not planning things sooner, and I regret some of my subject choices for school. This year has been 99% stress. I'm just going to wait for things to bounce back like you suggested. Thanks fellow human bean. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi, fellow human bean. :D I'm super glad that this helped you so much. I relate so much to planning-- if I don't plan important things ahead, then things go ka-plop for me, and now I have to make it up in the form of a gym class... *sighs* Hopefully you bounce back okay.

      xoxo Abigail Lennah

      Delete
  10. You put this so, so well. The Rent lyrics were the perfect touch;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Grace Anne. And yup, I think Rent has helped me cope through this post (I kept replaying the soundtrack while drafting the post).

      xoxo Abigail Lennah

      Delete
  11. I love this! Thank you for writing this :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome, Jollygirl!

      xoxo Abigail Lennah

      Delete
  12. YASSSSS This post was completely awesome :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YAAAAASSSS thanks so much Hanne! It's good to hear from you after awhile. How have you been? ^.^

      xoxo Abigail Lennah

      Delete
  13. Love this post! The way I let go of things is mostly m=by writing or drawing because it helps me sort out my feelings. :)

    xx Bubbles

    ReplyDelete

Hi there, reader! Thank you so, so much for having time to read my posts and comment; I really appreciate it, and I promise I will try to reply back! I'd also love it if you would follow my blog too and spread the word; that would make my day. :D Have a great day!

Stay strong and wonderful!
xoxo Morning