Anne Shirley is one of the closest literary heroines I relate closest to. My black hair and tan skin contrasts to her fiery red and freckles, but we are both dreamers. Isn't there a bit of Anne in all of us? By personal choice, I'm not open to have an romantic relationship in high school, but bits of my soul emulate thoughts of a hopeless romantic. New scenarios and "perfect" characteristics belonging to Prince Charming formulate each time I toss in bed. He'll probably be tall, brooding, sweeping me off of my feet. He's the dream guy everyone looks for.
There's no such thing as Prince Charming. Stepping out of fantasies and waking up in cold reality is generally a constant struggle. I watch my friends, courting and dating, while I stand on the sidelines, probably making an assortment of Valentine's Day related crafts during my volunteering job, making sure that the relationships they have are healthy and happy. My friends, who are all of the good sort, are respect my decision about abstaining from the romantic scene and remaining single as a solitary pringle at the bottom of a can, but they always tease that I'll miss the right guy as I frolic away in a dreamy state. A little part inside says that they're probably right.
If people had to find a define a "perfect guy" in literature, it would probably be no other than Gilbert Blythe. What's there not to like about him? He is tall, with curls, with intelligence, an insane amount of charisma, and immense understanding. Gilbert loved Anne so much he waited two years for her before she finally stated yes. He waited for a long time. Suddenly, Prince Charming converts into this literary character, from a general faceless character to someone concrete and almost real like. Anne and Gilbert's relationship, like everyone else's, has their faults, but in terms of realistic standards, it's perfect.
Here's the problem.
To take out all of the good parts that this fictitious relationship holds and demand that the relationship I want has to have every single functioning cog in place in order to deem the relationship compatibility is just wrong. First, ideals and realities are not the same. Someone who is redecorating a bedroom could have some aspects of their dream design unavailable for use. The same concept applies here! To impose such high standards right away and force them to meet all of them is unfair to the person on the other end. It's better to take the most desired qualities, particularly the intrinsic qualities, see if they have those with some room for improvement, and then build from there.
Secondly, relationships do not necessitate nor require one-hundred percent compatibility. Any relationships, romantic or platonic, does not require a full-on equivalence in everything an individual does. Compatibility in the important things (especially those relating to morals) are things needed to be in sync. Tiny stuff, like who's taking out the garbage or what movie to watch-- those can be heavily debated on.
Face it: not everything is going to be perfect. There will be some things the two individuals will clash on. Take a dreamer who is romantically linked to someone more grounded that clash on the mundane things because the former isn't doing their share of the chores. When people embark on a relationship, I don't think it starts off perfect. We try to be perfect together, but we're still far off the mark. As single separate entities, we too fall from the mark.
Isn't the point of any kind of relationship to experience growth, hopefully for the betterment of ourselves by the interactions we have with other people? People change people, and if there is change, it should be for the better.
Finally, what's all this waiting for true love business? Love does not just solely exclusive to romantic love. It's the easiest thing of all to forget. There are other relationships people can dedicate themselves to-- friendships, families, acquaintances wanting to maybe reach closer to the friends level-- love can be applied to all of those relationships. Instead of dedicating all of our time to Prince Charming and Gilbert Blythe, why don't we improve the current relationships we have in our life right now?
I hope you have a wonderful Valentine's Day, whether it be with a significant other, a group of friends, or by little kids doing arts and craft. As it was once said, "Love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love, cannot be killed or swept aside."