In school, there was a paper that everyone had to read called I and Thou by Martin Buber. According to the author, there are two relationships in this world that take the form in two basic word pairs, I-You, and I-It. I-You represents relationship between a person and another, where one does not judge, or categorize specific details of someone or something, but rather, take whole of the person or thing in the present, as whole. I-It relationships represent the past, where one ends up picking apart what they see. The final sentences of the paper states that without I-It, we cannot survive, but without I-You, we are not human.
I know that this paper sounds confusing—it’s probably one of the more difficult papers I have ever read in school, and it took about two weeks to even get ahold of what he’s saying, but trust me, what I am going explain is going to make much sense as to why I opened with this in the first place.
Some of you may know that life isn’t necessarily at its peak right now, and so, without going into much detail, I made a deal with my parents in which could to continue on doing after school activities as long as my grades are straight A’s. If my grades pass this little “benchmark”, I can continue the next quarter, and if not, goodbye activities for the rest of the semester. So, of course, I said, okay. I will take on this challenge.
The challenge isn’t as easy to maintain. My grades have currently fluctuated throughout the entire grading scale, and while most of the grades in my classes do make the mark, there are two others that need work. I’ve been studying and memorizing and rewriting and visiting the teachers—
All of this to that I’m secluded and can’t enjoy the little things any more.
Everything is I-It—everyone is for the future. I study, I work, but I spend my lunch period either asking for help on math or eating my ravioli in the library all by myself while the rest of my friends are off in another teacher’s room that, unlike them, I don’t share with. I can’t even enjoy rehearsal anymore because I’m constantly focused about school, and now the place that I considered my only solace just draws away. It’s constantly the thought in my mind.
Do you want me to tell you what I told my dad after five minutes of being logged into my laptop?
Literally, this is what I said. Life has been so mundane to the point that I haven’t posted anything in a while. I may be introverted, but I want to talk to people. I crave I-You. I don’t like wasting two hours of my life every day either waiting for the following day to come or just dreading it. I want to go back to rehearsal and school appreciate even the smallest things, but I rarely notice it because I’m constantly in the future. Things like our youngest cast member wearing these cute Halloween knee socks, talking about our jobs after we graduated from Hogwarts (um, half of the people I know are star Quiddich players), and fangirling over Avatar: The Last Airbender; where have these things gone?
Plus, last year, I didn’t do any activities after October, and well, let’s just say that everything for me just slumped there, too. I wouldn’t eat for days and my grades dropped even lower.
It’s important to have school, I get that. Education isn’t something that should be thrown away, and there are many parts of the world where education is still a right being fought for. On the other hand, is that it to life? Mustn’t we also be educated in the lessons that the world offers us, such as friendship, compassion, empathy, and courage? There are just some things that can’t be plainly taught through books and school lessons.
Let’s hope life goes up, shall we?
(P.S. Over the course of the next several weeks, get ready for some more heavy filled posts similar to the one about feminism.)