17 April 2015

"Watch" -- The Conclusion

credits
“Melody.”
My eyes flit open and I took the time to adjust to the bright lighting coming from out the window. Physically, I was knackered. Mentally, I was drained. My eyes searched for the owner of the voice, and right there, next to my bed, was Jenna, sunbathed in the morning rays. “Jenna?”
“Yeah?”
“W-what are you doing here?”
“We’re looking after you. By ‘we’, I mean…” Jenna gestured to Riley, George, and Nate, sitting on the couch facing my bed. The three of them scooched in closer to Jenna and sat there. I began to panic. Last night, the fights, my wishes… My eldest sister must have sensed my confusion, because she spoke again. “Your friends told us about your wishes when you were younger.”
“Is that—“ I said no more as Jenna uncrumpled the piece of paper balled in her hands, and smoothed it thin.
Nate murmured, “’Wish number 28, be just like Jenna, George, Nate and Riley.’ Yes.”
“Oh, pickles.” I turned towards them and hid my face under my pillow, to hide the utter embarrassment that was going through my face. An assortment of tangled emotions strung together. My final wish came true, but how was I supposed to react? Happy, because the dream was a reality? Frightened, because I was being judged based on actions I did when I was younger? Confused, because of the current situation my body was in, the old screws and bones? In impulse, I said muffled, “Well, I suppose it’s too late. I grew up long since the days I wrote those words. You can leave, and I’ll be here, alone, ready to die and—Hey!”
My two sisters pulled the pillow away from me. Their faces were plastered with pure shock. “How could you say such a thing? You’re three years older than all of us!”
I tore the pillow away from their grasp and sat straight on the bed. “You know, staying in a hospital makes you think. Babies can die sometimes during the process of childbirth, even days after their conception. Death teaches people may things, and…”
“No.” My brothers denied it. They must have known what I was trying to say.
“After thinking about it, I know I’m one of those people.” Tears began to trickle down my face, and I wiped them away with my medical gown. “I’m one of those people whose only purpose in the world is to… t-t-t-teach something. My purpose in this world is not to live and be a solid concrete person to walk the earth, but to stand here as some sort of saying, or lesson. 
“Stop saying that!”
“I won’t survive the surgery, I know I won’t, I can’t, I shouldn’t. Whoever placed me here, may it be some higher deity from above, perhaps God, or maybe the universe, they know my purpose is done. Love and death are the only two things that can prevail.”
“Stop, you’re being melodramatic!” Jenna’s warm hands wrapped around my own wrists and shook me senseless. “Yes, we weren’t here before for all of those years. We did a sloppy job of being your older sublings, but we’re asking for that second chance now.
“Maybe you won’t survive that operation. Perhaps you will. But you shouldn’t think of yourself’s sole purpose to be defined as a lesson, and a lesson only. Girl, you lived a beautiful life, and the four of us were too caught up in our own realities to see that. Those babies might have lived for several days, but like you said, they teach their mothers more. So what I am—we are—asking you is for our forgiveness. Don’t waste your time on bitterness.
I looked at the four of them with glistening eyes. They truly were sorry, they were! I stood onto my knees and gave them all a big hug, sobbing heavily. They might not have been the most perfect people, but I love them and I now know that they loved me. The four of them patted my head and held me in close for a long time.
I laid back down. “Promise me you won’t leave or forget me?”
“No.” I watched my sisters fluffing up my pillow and Nate and George adjust the thermostat I think and I am grateful for this imperfect family I have. "We'll be right here." With Riley smoothing out my hair and my brothers smiling softly, alongside Jenna’s humming cascading the room into a tender lullaby, I knew with the four of them watching me, I can now rest in peace.

----

And that, my friends, is the end of "Watch."

You may possibly be wondering about one question I did not address: Does Melody survive or die? My friends, I wish I had a simple answer to that, but if I told you my thoughts on the subject, you guys will either be like, "You're being too soft the characters!" or "YOU HAVE DESTROYED MY FEELS." (If I haven't destroyed your feels yet, then I will be surprised.) I will leave you with this thought, if you need to hear my opinion on the ending:

The story's synopsis has always been about a girl who has strove to reach her brothers' and sisters' love, respect, and affection, and that was the main thing I wanted to reflect in the story. The truth about real life is that not sometimes, you may go under appreciated by others or you might under appreciate someone. Life isn't always a fairy tale. But we can always strive to be like Melody's friends-- Monique, Amy, Luke, and Peter-- and appreciate those who are in our lives right now. Those are the sort of people we need.

33 comments:

  1. *grabs a tissue and wipes the tears* WOAH! I'm not quite sure what I've just read! For a moment there I thought your were secretly a professional author! I personally hope that Melody didn't die! The subject you chose to reflect really did reflect. It was like an entire mirror! That was an amazing conclusion, Morning! You did THE MOST FABULOUSLY AMAZINGLY FANTASTIC conclusion! It's things like these, when people show off their fab writing *coughsmorningtimecoughs* that make you realise how talented people really are in our blogging community! Honestly, if you entered this into an aroundtheworld writing competition, I reckon you could/would/should win hands down because this my friend, and I know I say this every time but, was absolute, completely and utterly pure perfection! Sorry for going overboard on the comment! Stay strong and wonderful, Miss Internet xoxo

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    1. I have my thoughts and my opinions about what has happened to her. The only problem with the story was that it was very hard for me to stay grounded to the fact that Melody's story only had this purpose to reflect that lesson. And gosh, Miss Internet, you never fail to make me smile. ^.^ I'm possibly thinking of writing and entering some pieces for the Scholastics Art and Writing competition; to win an award like that would be amazing, even if I only make it to the state level!

      xoxo Morning

      (P.S. Oh my gosh girl you using my old sign off phrase sounds so great when you say it! There's a story about the origins of that catchphrase, but if the reason for me to say it ever comes up I shall cross that river and say so. ^.^)

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    2. Oh my gosh, Morning! YOU never fail to make ME smile! Anyway, you should sooooooooooo enter that comp! You'd do so well! We gotta take chances in life, right?

      Ps. Yes I did use it! I'm gonna try and look it up! I'm not quite sure whether I suited it or not! I dunno but you so do! Xoxo

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    3. If I end up creating a unique story then I will definitely enter! :) There's so much I want to do before I graduate (there are about 20 things on the list and a lot of them cost a lot of money or it's all chosen by chance).

      xoxo Morning

      (P.S. It totally suits you! The phrase isn't limited to me just using it; you may use it as a sign off on your blog, if you wish. :D )

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    4. I was wandering if you could do me a favour! Could you maybe explain to me how to add a message to your comment section! So yours says I love reading comments etc. so how do you add a little message saying for example 'I love reading comments I always reply blah blah blah' if you get what I mean? Xoxo if you do and you do help, thank you So much! Xoxo

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    5. Hey, yeah sure! Go the blog you want the message in > Settings > Post and Comments. When you scroll down the last option that it allows you to change is something that says Comment Form Message. If it says add, press that and insert what you wish. I hope this helps! If it's confusing I can explain it a bit more, but that is just the gist of it.

      xoxo Morning

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    6. Thank you SOOOOOOOO much! I will definitely try that!

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  2. I loved this whole series! And that part where Melody says she was born to be just a lesson...:( it was so well written!!! I think it ended really nicely, and I really want to know whether she lives or not but yeah, it was a neat ending. ;) thanks for sharing Melody's journey!

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    1. I'm glad to have shared Melody's story, too! The part when she began to say she was born a lesson and her siblings' reconciliation to her made me cry when I was writing it. :')

      xoxo Morning

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  3. This made me cry in a good way. I love how she finally gets the attention she deserves at the end. Beautifully written...well done, Morning!

    ~ayumii
    http://thisblogdoesnotevenexist.blogspot.com.au/

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    1. Thank you, Ayumii! I haven't felt this satisfied writing a conclusion for a story in a very very long time.

      xoxo Morning

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  4. This piece of writing is amazing and beautifully written.Anyway a couple of days ago you posted a comment on my blog saying that you would love me to add the GFC button so you can follow me.I've now added it to my blog I hope you can visit my blog and follow me.

    here is the web address
    http://agirlblogx.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. Thank you, a girl! I have followed your blog via GFC! :)

      xoxo Morning

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  5. This is heartbreaking, Morning! But I love it<3

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    1. It broke my heart a lot, too. I think that there are a lot of people out there who think that authors have it easy and evil, when they end up doing cruel things to their characters, but I think that's untrue. It may seem insensitive to the readers' point of view, but I bet it crushes most authors, if not all, to go through the ordeal. It crushed me writing the end. :'(

      xoxo Morning

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  6. Oh my goodness, this is beautiful! I love it, Morning!! I hope you do another story soon. I like the way you left things, up to the imagination. The thing that really mattered is resolved.
    -Christine

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    1. That was always the point of the story; to let the main problem be resolved. I am thinking of writing and continuing with the Cinderella excerpt I wrote, but as to how I want to make it different compared to the traditional fairy tale is something that may take me awhile to think.

      xoxo Morning

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  7. DEATH NOOOOO. Sorrow. Well done, friend! ♥

    xoxo

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    1. Thank you, dearest! :) Death is horrible, horrible, horrible.... DX

      xoxo Morning

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  8. this was perfect. well done, girl <3

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    1. Thank you. I think the post is flawed in so many ways, but because of the feedback I keep getting, I think I love it. ^.^

      xoxo Morning

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  9. This just.....oh my gosh. I can't even....what? I have so many emotions that I couldn't describe in the word limit for comments. Melody has been such a well-developed character that we have all been rooting for from the get go, and her siblings have (in my opinion) been disliked from the start when they didn't "watch" her. But now....we can finally be at peace with the conclusion.

    Oh, except for one teenie tiny wee thing....

    DOES MELODY SURVIVE?????

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    1. There's a word limit for commenting? I never knew that. O-O *gets a huge new perspective about Blogger* I'm so glad that Melody got something that she very much deserves. As for Melody surviving (I'm so scared that people are going to go all bananas on me about it) weeeellllll.... :)

      xoxo Morning

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  10. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! That was NOT OK. Where is THE HAPPY ENDING?!!! BAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! (Great job!!)

    xo,
    megann

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    1. That was the happy ending! XD (Thank you!)

      xoxo Morning

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  11. Wow. Keep writing. That was good.

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  12. Oh my god! You are an amazing writer. You should sign up to NaNoWriMo

    By the way,
    I'm a new blogger please can you check out my blog?

    http://mintyperfections.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. Hi! Don't speak in vain, all right? ^.^ I am doing NaNoWriMo; it's my third yer doing it, actually! :) I will be sure to check out your blog! Thanks for stopping by!

      xoxo Morning

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  13. I was looking at your writing page, and I ended up reading all the parts of this story! Anyway, I have a few things to say:

    1. MY HEART. This story was just so emotional! I don't have any siblings, but yet I was still heartbroken by what Melody went through. The thought of constantly being ignored and disregarded by those who mean the most to you is just so sad..
    2. About how the story ended..I actually think that ending it like that was brilliant..Because when it comes down to it, I don't really think this story is about whether Melody dies or not..It's about Melody's relationship with her siblings. Obviously I would love if Melody lived and had a wonderful life afterwards, one in which she knew she was loved by her siblings. However, I am satisfied with the ending to the story...Because ultimately in the end, Melody realizes that her siblings do love her and her siblings learn a valuable lesson. I think that the love of her siblings is the one thing that she wanted more than anything else, the one thing that would give her true contentment.
    3. I do have to say though, there were a plenty of times where I wanted to slap some sense into Melody's siblings! They only realized their mistakes at the last minute, which was just heartbreaking. I was especially angry with them in the part five, when they thought that visiting their own sister in the hospital was interrupting their own lives!!
    4. YOU ARE SUCH A TALENTED WRITER. I don't even know how to express how much I love your writing..So I'll just say this, I'm eagerly looking forward to the day when I see your books on my bookshelves (because I will totally be purchasing them.)
    6. The characters in this story were really fleshed out, which I think is so impressive considering that this is a short story!
    5. Also, this story was written two entire years ago! WOW. If your writing was like this two years ago, I can't even imagine how good it must be now!

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    1. You'll probably see me make the same remark some place else on my blog, but it's funny you say that because literally yesterday, Savannah Grace of Scattered Scribblings also shot a message about going through my past writings! I should probably post more on here pretty soon... I'm not sure if that'll be a possibility within the next three months, as I'm prepping for writing scholarships and competitions, but there is a short piece that has been in the works for three hours that I'm currently loving.

      1. ALSO MY HEART. <3 Looking back, I feel like this was a bit unrealistic, as all four of the siblings were antagonized and it would have been maybe a little less easy of a plot if one of the siblings did kind of look back and think, "Yes, maybe I should check up on Melody, as she is my little sister..." But despite that, it is sad and is still pretty realistic to how things are like in real life.

      2. EXACTLY. That was the same thought process that came to my mind when I wrote that ending. People are so accustomed into having happy endings and tying loose ends, but if that were to happen, then the purpose that the story is supposed to hold doesn't stand as high as it could go.

      3. Again, it sucks, but honestly, it's what people do. It's somewhat based off of something that has happened in real life, it's something I've seen more than once. Sometimes siblings become estranged because of age difference or how their lives are going, but they shouldn't be estranged like that.

      4. *flails and DIES* I really hope my novel does get published within the next several years, but it's probably #PROCRASTINATION that will stand in my way. (That, and senior year. Senior year.... *shudders*) I am editing my novel, portfolio pieces, and college essays in July, so if all goes according to plan, I can ask you to beta read... :D

      6. (Going with the number theme, haha!) I agree! I'm surprised they were this fleshed out. I wish the siblings were fleshed out a bit more, but it's hard having groups of four to balance out!

      5. My writing is... okay? I honestly am super critical of my own writing so I can't judge its growth, but I can say that my short pieces are better than my novel writing in terms of spotting growth, because it's super easy to spot the times when I get burnt out from writing emotion chapters and from switching viewpoints whereas short pieces are easier to get consistent and edit, if that makes sense. xD

      Thank you so much for this-- you've literally made my day!!!

      xoxo Abigail Lennah

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Hi there, reader! Thank you so, so much for having time to read my posts and comment; I really appreciate it, and I promise I will try to reply back! I'd also love it if you would follow my blog too and spread the word; that would make my day. :D Have a great day!

Stay strong and wonderful!
xoxo Morning