"'Who am I?'"

"You are what you say you are, not what other people think you should be." This is what one of the moderators of a site that I love said. 

This is true. A lot of people judge me from the first glance; I'm short, timid and love books. People have that impression of me in their heads. After all, that's what I seem like from far away. But when people get to know me more and I open up, they find a lot more about my personality and I. Behind that cloak of shyness, there lies a girl who is adventurous, outgoing, lover of the arts and sports, and someone who is a bit of a tomboy.

Some people will look at me and be all like, "What? No, you're quiet. You're short. That's who you are." Some won't even talk to me just because they judge me of at a glance. And that's one of the things that I strongly despise (hate is a strong word). 

Though I do have a general idea about who I am, I still don't know who I am. I know, my name is Abigail, and I'm a school girl with aspiring dreams to become a full-published author, that sort of stuff. But I'm talking about the deeper meaning. When I was younger, I believed that once we turned thirteen, then who we are at that age and how we act will stick like that for the rest of our lives. That fact turns out to be not true.

When I read The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot for the first time when I was eleven, there was this word that always struck fancy in my head: "self-actualization." Fancy word, I thought. Until a couple weeks ago, when I broke down the word into pieces, did I realize what it meant. "Self", obviously, means yourself, you.  The suffix "-tion" means the action, or result, of doing something, leaving it with the root, "actual".  So, when you look at the entire meaning, it means, "To develop or achieve one's full potential."

In other words, it means finding the answer to the very same question that we all ask ourselves and that my main character, Addie, for one of my novels, says:

"Who am I?"

It's the age old question, isn't it? In my novel, it takes Addie quite awhile to realize who she is—and yet she is only thirteen. In the book Formerly Shark Girl, by Kelly Bingham, the main character, Jane Arrowood, does, in a way, tries to find out who she is and make the big decisions for college and her life ahead of her. It takes her about a year.

For some, finding out who they are is quite easy. Some, it only takes about a month or an entire summer break. Others take a year or longer. Whatever the case is, it is a long process, and the answer does not come that easily.

So how exactly do we know who we are, when we know who we are? How do we, as the song "Some Nights" by Fun says, find out "what do I stand for?" Does it come like a wave over us? Do we say, "Oh, I am this, and that, and that, and that, ex certa, ex certa"? Where do we look or what shows who we are? I'll give you a hint: it is happening at this very moment, at this very second. Yup, this is happening live even while you're reading this.

It's our life. I bet you're all looking at me as if I am crazy, thinking, "What? How can my life—I'm talking about my life here—tells who I am?" 

The reason is quite simple. Let's take up all our personality. Then, let's take up our experiences, our behavior, our reactions, our memories, our dreams and goals and dislikes. Even the little things, some that seem unimportant, shape us, like if we like cheese or love Polaroids. Mash them together, and there! Our outcome ends up as ourselves. All of these things shape us into who we are.

 Next time, when you have a writing prompt with the question "Who am I?" or run along someone who asks the question, what would you say? Would you say, "I'm a comedian," or say, "My name is Dawn"? All of these may be true. There is one answer, though, and this may be biased on my part, that is the best to reply.

The best answer to this question is very simple, but many may not say this as their first answer.

"I am, first and foremost, myself."

Over The Past Couple Of Weeks....

Hello, everyone! Sorry for the delay in me posting; the internet has been pretty rough where I live lately, so many of my post will be written during school, before school starts and during my lunch break. I'll need to catch up to speed on what has happened over the past couple of weeks.

The couple of weeks I've been going to construction and robotics camp, as some of you may know from me chatting and emailing you. I also went to this cultural festival that happens in town every single year, and I tried out a lot of stuff, though mainly Greek food. Spanakopita, a Greek spinach pie with cheese, is very yummy. I also tried some Athenian chick wings. In a future post, I'll be able to post some pictures from all three of these events.

On the 21st, school started. I admit, I was having my worries and doubts. A lot of the people that I met last year, who are simply amazing, weren't in some of my classes. Luckily, I still see them everyday, from time to time. On the first day of school, I was literally squealing with some of my friends, jumping up and down. We haven't seen each other over the summer, so I could not help but jump up and down. 
My teachers this year are simply amazing. They are each comedians, and I could not help but trying to stop myself from laughing out loud in the middle of class. Lunch, for the first week, was different from what normally happens. Normally, our entire group of friends would get passes to the library. From there, we would all either play UNO, or, in my case sometimes, work on homework.

One of my big worries that I have are the level of my classes, especially Geometry and Orchestra. Last year, I was in Algebra, which was a bit of a struggle for me. I wasn't able to do Orchestra, due to the fact that I had to choose two non-musical electives. I know I have to step up my game, somehow. Next year I will be in high school, and I know that I need to start developing the maturity and responsibility habits I need. 
Some of my friends moved away, which does make me a bit sad. One of my friends hasn't even shown up yet, which is kind of surprising. They love sports, and honestly, I'm a bit worried.

I also gave some advice on the Discovery Girl website! There are a lot of girls who are starting middle school, and I know that it's nerve-wracking. For those who are starting middle school, do not worry! Here is some of my advice to you that I also wrote on the site:

"Hi, Anonymous! I know exactly what you're going through-- last year, in seventh grade, was my first year in middle school, and I was trembling all over on the first day! I wasn't with any of my friends in any of my classes, which made me a bit more nervous. But don't worry! Everyone goes through this sooner or later. Middle school, believe it or not, will be one of the best times in your life. You will make new friends and grow physically, mentally and emotionally. I have a couple pieces of advice for you. My first piece of advice is to hold your head high and stay strong and calm. Everyone gets the middle school/first day jitters. We will all face tough, nerve-wracking times in life, but once it is over, then we can breathe a sigh of relief. My second piece of advice to you is to smile and raise your hands in class, even if you aren't completely sure of the answer. Your teachers will appreciate the effort you're making and appreciate the fact that you're trying to get into the class's discussion! Also, it gives the teachers and everyone else a good impression. My third piece of advice is to not judge people by their covers! In fifth grade, I met and had to sit by three people who I all judged by their appearance, but as I got to know them better, they were actually really nice, and now, the three are some of my closest friends! My final piece of advice to you is to smile, be nice and most importantly, be yourself. I did this on the first day of school and structure destruction camp, and I made a lot of friends. People will truly and genuinely appreciate and see who you are. Just remember that you are beautiful, inside and out, you shine, you are important and most importantly, that you are unique and original. Who knows, after a couple days or weeks, you'll have a lot of new friends and will have middle school down in no time! I hope that you will go through your first days and weeks of middle school smoothly. Stay strong and wonderful! –Morning"

Well, I must go. I hope all of you still bear with me—I promise I will try to update more! 

Happy Half-Year Blogasary!

This, for some odd reason, reminds me of my friends in
third and fifth grade.
Hi everyone! I just want to say: Happy Half-Year Blogsary! I can't believe it's been a long six months since this journey began, friends, and I can't believe we've come a long way! 18 followers via GFC, 11 followers via Bloglovin and page views! And I know a lot of the NaNoers also read my blog a lot. And what a weird conscience! This is my 50th post.
    I suppose you would want to know what I've been up to for the past several days. These past several days, I have been going to the town's local college to go to engineering camp. I've made a lot of awesome friends. I'm in this group which is called "Unicorns and Toasters", because during lunch, that's all the three of us ever talked about. Our group consists of two girls, including me, and a guy. Let me tell you, I'm super happy to get out of the house more and finally use my brain again.
    I am also starting to talk to my friends more! It's more like texting them, but I've been contacting them nonstop talking about school. I'm very excited. I even saw one of my friends and, it turns out, we're going to the same robotics camp next week!
    Also, I am starting to get interested in one of my favorite fandoms as a child: Avatar, the Last Airbender, and the Legend of Korra. I don't know why. That was the first ever thing I watched that was anime or fake anime, when my cousins flipped on the television to Avatar, the Last Airbender. Without it, I really wouldn't have been me. The show has made me laugh and cry, boo and cheer. As I'm typing this up, I am listening to some music from the fandom. I still watch that show, whenever I have the spare time.
     I also heard this very funny quote today. I saw this after swimming. Do you know how there are weight scales where you have to adjust the knobs and such? There is a picture above. Anyways, I saw a little boy, around the age of five, who slid the scales to the right edge. Did you know what he said?
     "Yes! I weigh 100 pounds." I cracked up.
      Well, I must go. Goodbye, everyone!


post signature

Personal Corner: August 2013



My Goals: 
     1) To grow taller, at least by an inch. 
     2) Finish up my novel and edit.  I have official won the July session of Camp NaNoWriMo (my word count was 30,000, which I reached. Yay!) but I still have at least five chapters left to go. Plus, this is something that I want to actually publish, so better work on it right now. 
     3) Start on a memoir. Starting a memoir sounds quiet odd, for someone my age (let’s just say that I’m not old enough to even have a memoir) but there are so many memories and events that happened in my life time. I had this idea ever since I talked to some people on Young Writers’ NaNoWriMo site about some of the things that happened in my life, and they said that I should write a book about it. So, I am deciding to write a memoir, starting from the earliest memories all the way up to the eighth grade.
Events Happening: 
     1. School. Starting on the third week!
     2. Construction and robotics camp at the city university.

     Loving stuffed monkeys, manga/anime eyes on fruit, fireweed and dandelions.
     Drinking a Cookie Crumble Frappuccino from Starbucks. 
     Watching Carrie H. Fletcher’s YouTube channel on YouTube, called itswaypastmybedtime. 
     Reading “Wonder” by R. J Palacio and “Heist Society” by Ally Carter.
     Listening to the radio and the Glee version of “Forget You.” I don’t watch Glee, but I love Gwyneth Paltrow’s voice.